If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Found your dick twin last night
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
