I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
