When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
so much tequila, so little girl.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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