i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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