I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
