How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
