I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
