Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
