just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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