just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
