The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
