Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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