Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
