thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
