I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
