Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize