found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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