My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
