yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
