Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
