I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
