Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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