do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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