Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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