new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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