remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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