she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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