i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
