Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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