I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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