In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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