I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize