Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
