the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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