Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
