i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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