I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
