I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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