I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
