I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
