And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
