Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
