after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm gonna fight the coyote
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
