He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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