But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
A bitchslap is in order.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
