And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
