I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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