mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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