I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
