Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
