Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
