Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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