Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Can I color on your dick again?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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