Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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