are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize
